Our New Normal, the Nursery Box, and Other Updates

Today is one month since Button was born. Mr. Man is the only person who’s noticed. For everyone else, life has carried on. His death was just a blip, a bump in the road.

February is a new month! There are other things to be excited about. Be happy. 

I tried, really, I did.
I failed.

Yesterday I took a pregnancy test. There was a smudge of a line. I’m now pretty sure it was a dye run. We bought 4 more tests. I didn’t get a chance to take them. I woke up to discover I’m back at CD 1. How appropriate.  The few hours of hope were a nice break.

Even though we wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible, I knew there was a chance I may not even ovulate, so we didn’t press hard to make things happen. I’m still not sure if I did ovulate, as I never got a positive OPK. But, this should be a normal, predictable cycle, which means we are once again resuming the increasingly underpaid full time job of making a baby.

In other news, we’re buying a house. It’s definitely an upgrade from our 2 bed apartment. We’ll have 3 bedrooms, plus an office and a craft room. I’m even going to put together a bit of a library. I need to start reading again. I miss it, even though I haven’t felt like reading.

If things go as planned, we’ll be moving the first part of March. We’ve already started packing. All of the baby things we’ve accumulated fit in one box. Against my better judgement, I label the box, nursery.

On moving day, our nursery will have one box. I suspect that box will stay packed for a long time. There’s nothing in it we will be needing for a while.

A diaper bag. Onesies. A pacifier. Diapers. One bottle. Nothing we’ll be using.

So that’s what is new in our life. I’m sorry for such a “down” post, but I always want to be real with you. Right now, this is real.

Looking forward, we’re going to take it one day, one breath at a time. What else can we do?

4 thoughts on “Our New Normal, the Nursery Box, and Other Updates

  1. One day at a time, absolutely. It does get easier with time, it’s true. But you’ll never forget, nor should you. Good luck and thank you for sharing!

  2. I really admire your openness. I know the struggle of waiting for a baby; it’s so difficult. So sorry for your loss, and keep going one day at a time.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I have suffered a loss also and I know it is hard but it will get easier. You still have a lot to look forward to. Good luck to you.

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